


La Haine

by alcaline (aliixce)



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, And all the stuff teenagers do really, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, i have not idea where this is going to go really, i will probably tag it later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-15 13:08:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9236486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliixce/pseuds/alcaline
Summary: The problem is not the fall, it's the landing.The truth is, we get insanely bored when we're not chasing after anything. Life is aimless and it's driving us nuts.Isak and Even meet. They fall, they will land, and maybe they will get back on their feet. Because if someone can, it's them.





	1. Le début

They both met at a party, where nothing's clear and blur is everywhere.  
They don’t know exactly what they've been drinking, or what they've been smoking, or what they snorted, or swallowed.  
  
It's teenage recklessness in a nutshell, nights where all what's bottled up during the day pours out of bodies like blood. It's sex, drugs, alcohol and questions about life and growing up. It's the nights where everything's dramatic, where feelings are raw and bare skin is exposed. They can’t tell themselves that they're young and immature, that it would all fall back into place later. Because these kids, they feel, they feel, they love and they suffer and there's nothing that can tell them that it's not valid, that it's not real. 

  


They fall into this routine, this routine of going to school, trying to make sure their grades are good enough to have a decent future, of lying, of being happy, of not being happy.  
And at night, they pretend to be more mature than they are, to be stronger than they are, to be someone else than they are, and they drink and they smoke and they have sex because there's anger, there's hatred, there’s passion and energy, and they allow themselves to fall, to fall just for one night, where they don't think about their routine and their future, about decisions to make, responsibilities to have. They just fall. Fall in bliss or in darkness.

  


The problem is not the fall, it's the landing.

"Halla."  
  
Isak turns around, startled by the sudden intrusion. He's met by a pair of baby blue eyes, big and round and naïve, and much more at the same time. Isak is smoking outside, enjoying the last days where it's warm enough not to freeze his ass off outside. He hears the booming of music inside, and loud chatter, and inhales the smells of weed, booze and sweat.  
And now there's another smell next to him, airy and manly, warm and that reminded him weirdly of home. The smell of warm blankets and cheap deodorant, shampoo and something he couldn't quite put his finger on.  
Isak turned his head to the stranger, slowly, eyes opened.  
  
"I'm Even." said the stranger. Well, said Even.  
  
"Isak Valtersen."  
  
Isak wasn't in the mood to talk. He was in a pissy mood. It was one of the nights where alcohol fails at making you happy and just gives you this cranky mood. He was thinking and thinking about all the shitty stuff he had to deal with, about out-of-control-moms and cowards-dads, about the failure of love and winter that was coming. About the sun getting more and more rare and happiness doing the same.  
His attention was already on something else and he had forgotten the guy next to him that was trying to make conversation.  
  
"What are you doing outside ?"  
  
Nosy, the stranger. Isak game him a more in-depth look, studying the carefully styled hair, the androgynous features, the plump and chapped lips.  
He's arrogant, was the first thing Isak thought. He scoffed.  
  
"Smoking, isn't that obvious?”  
  
Even replied ,"You could have done it inside. It doesn't bother anyone."  
  
"I know. I thought the fact that I was avoiding them was pretty noticeable."  
  
"Who did you come with ?"  
  
"A few friends.”  
  
"Where are they ?"  
  
Isak was slowly losing his patience."How the fuck am I supposed to know ?"  
  
"Just asking, trying to make small talk, you know being friendly. You're not helping by the way." Even's smile was blinding, Isak noticed. He was smiling like he never saw any darkness, ever.  
  
"I don't have anything to say." simply answered Isak, taking the last drag of his cigarette. He didn't usually smoke, but Jonas had a pack and he was bored, so why not being a teenager all the way.  
  
"I'm sure that's not true." Even replied, unfazed by Isak's grumpiness.  
  
"Then I don't have anything to say to you."  
  
"I do, then. I’m Even Bech Næsheim, Nissen student, and now your friend."  
  
"You're not a Nissen student" said Isak, surprised. "I never saw you before."  
  
"Just transferred. I'm a third year."  
  
"You transferred in your final year ?" It was unusual, unusual enough for Isak to ask himself questions.  
  
"Yeah. This party blows huh ?" Even had changed subject, and it didn't go unnoticed by Isak, but he decided to drop the subject. Even was starting to intrigue him.  
  
Isak let out a small laugh. "Yeah, everybody was already wrecked at eleven."  
  
"Why? You're not ?"  
  
"I'm not what ?" asked Isak.  
  
"Drunk."  
  
Isak was, indeed, vision blurred at the edges and a warm feeling in his body. But maybe it was because of Even more than the shots.  
  
"I am. Just like everybody else."  
  
"But you're not with them. Partying, I mean." said Even, firmly.  
  
"You're not either"  
  
"They are boring."  
  
"And I'm not ?" Isak said, eyebrows raison, full focus on Even.  
  
"Nah, you're not. You're refreshing." said Even, smirking.  
  
Isak scoffed. "I've never been told this before."  
  
"What really ? You're really fresh. Fresher than the freshest thing." Even winked.  
  
Isak didn't really know if Even was flirting, messing with him, or just completely out of his mind. "Don't you have better pick up-lines ? Really ?"  
  
"I do, I do." continued Even, with a huge smile that was pure pleasure to Isak's eyes.  
He was starting to notice how beautiful the older boy was, and it was getting harder not to stare at his lips. Keep the gay away, thought Isak. He wasn't closeted, but not completely out either. His squad knew, the Kolletiv knew, and the few boys he had hooked up with knew. It was more than enough.  
  
"Is your dad a thief ?" started Even.  
  
"Why ? Because he stole all the stars of the sky to put them in my eyes ?" Isak guessed. It was the cheesiest pick-up line ever invented.  
  
"No, because he stole all the mushrooms of the grocery shops to put them on your dick."  
  
Both boys burst out in laughter, eyes crinkled, holding on them stomachs because it started to hurt. Isak wiped out a tear, with now a hundred-watt smile on his face. He was starting to like Even.  
They talked for a bit, random topics. They made fun of the people at the party, they swapped numbers, they argued on their favorite beer brand, they gently insulted each other, without ever meaning it. Two hours had passed since Even approached him, and none of them saw time pass. They clicked, as simple as that.  
  
When the party started to die, and when Isak's friends started to stumble out of the house, he knew it was time to go home. It was too late to catch a bus, but they could walk home. They had nothing else to do anyway.  
  
Isak glanced quickly at Even, disappointed that their bubble was popped. He wanted to stay here, to talk about nothing and everything, and to stare at that smile of his for hours. But it was time to go. Before leaving, Isak grabbed his jacket from where he was sitting and stood up to shake Even's hand. Even didn't grab it. Instead, he took two steps towards Isak and planted him a quick kiss on the cheek.  
  
"I like you, Isak Valtersen."  
"I like you too, Even."

 

They were still falling.  
They hadn't landed yet.


	2. Tentatives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This doesn't make any sends whatsoever sorry

They could never understand really how it feels, to have your own mind running all the time.   
It's not fun, it's tiring. It's tiring, to lay in your bed and to know that there's no way to escape this uninterrupted train of thoughts that's going god knows where.

It makes you want to crawl out of your skin.   
It makes you want to hit your fucking head on the walls until it stops.

Even couldn't stop thinking, so he texted Isak.

even (01:24) : are u still awake?   
isak (01:25): yup...

They have been texting back and forth since they first met on Friday night. They hadn't seen each other since then, but talking seemed natural , as if they had always know each other   
as if there were just made to be. But none of them never thought about that possibility, the one where you actually consider thinking, what if we're just made for each other. They never thought about what it would feel like, to have their bodies pressed together, lips swollen from kissing, they never thought about that, late at night, hands creeping under theur waistbands, they never thought about grabbing coffee and smiling at each other like giggling idiots.   
No, they never thought about that.

even (01:30): we should grab coffee together

Because fuck, he did think about that.

isak (02:01): we should

Because, he also did think about that.

  
It wasn't easy on Monday morning, classrooms reeking of hangovers and undone homework. Isak could count how many hours of sleep he had on the weekend on one hand. With Friday's party, and the rest of the weekend spent texting Even, he didn't really get to rest himself. You'll have time to sleep when you'll be dead, he repeated in his head while walking to school, when in reality he just wanted to crawl under his blankets and maybe never see the world ever again.

He was kind of nervous about seeing Even again. Isak's mind was playing him tricks, and overthinking was his worst ennemy. Whatifhedoesntlikeyouwhatifitisawkwardwhatifhedoesntreallywanttoseeyouagainwhatifitwasallinyourhead   
And again, and again, and again.   
So when his last class was over, Isak said goodbye to his friends and headed out, head high.   
Even was waiting for him.   
Inhale.   
Exhale.

  
Even's smile was still as blinding as last time, and Isak couldn't help recalling what he thought the first time he saw him. He smiles as if he has never seen darkness.   
It was far from true, but Isak liked to tell himself that nonetheless.

"Halla."   
"Halla."

It wasn't awkward at all, Isak realized between each sip of his sugary coffee. Even was rambling about something, his hand trying to illustrate what words couldn't.   
"Can you imagine? If we could build a ventilator this huge, maybe we could push the clouds away and maybe see the sun for once!" Even was beaming.   
"Do you realize that without the could there's nothing to keep the heat so it will get even colder?"   
"Hey a man can dream." pouted Even.

Their banter had been lasting for the past hour, both refusing to acknowledge that their coffees were long gone. They were just enjoying each other's presence. They felt less alone somehow.   
People on the coffee shop often gave them strange looks when one of them laughed too hard. They couldn't bring themselves to care.

"But I swear Bbc Sherlock is way better than your whole Narcos bullshit. A masterpiece."   
"But there's no way in hell that Holmes is more charismatic. Have you seen Escobar? He's like the best?" argued Isak.   
"Are you fucking kidding me? Cumberbatch is a godsend?" And Even was already googling his name to find some pictures to show Isak, who rolled his eyes one more time. Even continued "See, look at that maaan..." Isak burst out laughing.   
"Is it that gets you going?"   
"What?"   
"The whole hot clever sociopath persona?"   
"Huuum not really. You get me going tho."

Isak had nothing to reply. It felt like his tongue didn't belong in his mouth, and talking suddenly felt like an impossible task. Even didn't seem to mind, a million watt smile still on his face.

There's a phone that buzzes, and suddenly the moment slips away. Isak snaps out of his daze and Even smiles disappear as he grabs his phone.

He reads the text quickly and his whole demeanor changes, his spine going stiff, eyes alert, more aware of his surroundings. He looks at Isak one last time with a pleading looks that means I'm sorry it wasn't supposed to be like this it has nothing to do with you

But instead Even settles on "I really need to go sorry." and leaves Isak there, still processing everything.

 

sonja (16:37): you cannot just avoid me forever, we really need to talk pls

  
sonja (18:42): i know you haven't been taking your meds even what's going on

isak (19:10): is everything ok?   
isak (19:32): i hope it's not my fault   
isak (19:35): you can talk to me about anything you know

sonja (20:01): just once im begging you answer me call me stop by anything

 

It's one in the morning and Even's thinking.

  
Even observes the world, meets happy people, meets sad people, some people that leave, often way too fast, and some people that stay.

He wanted Isak to be one of those people that stay.   
They barely knew each other but Even knows there's something special between, because sexual attraction and friendship. They're in for a long while.

It's too in the morning and Isak's thinking.

Isak asks himself all sorts of questions that night in his bed. Why did Even leave? Did Even really like him? Was Isak ready to love, ready to be loved?   
Isak thinks and misses his mom. He misses her smell and her delicate voice he even misses her nonsense. He misses Even and his smile and his smell and his lame jokes. He misses everyone because the world turns and he just cannot seem to follow, he just stays here, unable to do anything but to be carried by the tide. They are too much questions and Isak is too sad and why would life be simple when it could be complicated.

  
It's four in the morning and Even doesn't have anymore energy left to think.

You won't be hurting tonight, Even tells himself. Steaming coffee hurts his chapped lips, and the numerous cuts he has on his hands sting everytime his knuckles move.   
He's cold.   
His phone, laying nearby, is nagging him.   
He doesn't call Isak. He won't pick up anyway. And he decided he wouldn't be hurting tonight.

Now it's five in the morning and they won't get a lot of sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> but I still love feedback and I'm open to any sorts of propositions so don't hesitate!

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this is going, really. I'm opened to all suggestions and comments really I love feedback !  
> (English isn't my first language and this is unbeta'ed)  
> Enjoy the read !


End file.
